Wet Willy

witch ruin by *offermoord via deviantART

Bullying is never good, but people invent millions of ways to bully the weak. There’s name calling, hitting, and humiliating others with pranks. There’s also pulling wedgies and throwing people either in the dumpster or in toilet bowls. However, one specific method of bullying inspired me to think up this scenario — the wet willy.

Imagine a frail, pasty little girl, who we’ll fondly name as Lolita. In school, she is the most timid person and will shy away from attention by bowing down, slumping, and walking with her shoulders hunched. Her long, black hair helps her hide her wide doe eyes from people’s attention. Usually, she wears muted colors, but she favors black for her daily palette. Despite everything that she does to get un-noticed, she is often the target of bullying, especially from the infamous school bully, Shawn.

Shawn is this tall, fat kid who always stands at the school’s front door. He is always alone because no other bully can take the cruelty that he spews out — in short, he’s too bad to have henchmen. Even before scrawny kids can enter the school, they’d lose their lunch money to Shawn because he glares at them and makes a fist that he uses as a silent but effective threat. Aside from the threat of being hit, he also pulls some wedgies and even locks people in their lockers. However, he favors wet willies, especially when the slippery finger he coats with his saliva is directed towards Lolita’s ears.

This is how these two kids lived; one is the victim while the other bullies. At the start of the school year, Lolita tried to endure the bullying. She just runs of crying when Shawn or other lesser bullies pull off their stunts, but it soon changed. Usually, she just fumes silently in a corner, her temples throbbing with rage. One day, while Lolita was in the library, she learned about bacteria. Concerned that she would get an ear infection because of the wet willies that Shawn gives him, she asked her grandmother to help her.

After her visit with her grandmother, she went to school one day with a different aura. S She wore a dress with a laced mock polo neckline, long bell sleeves, which flared out to reveal more ruffles, and a ballooning skirt made out of dull satin and trimmed with delicate lace that looked like spider webs that trapped flowers in them. he held her head high, walked with purpose, and stared people in the eye. She was hoping to find Shawn in the hallway, and she wasn’t disappointed. She saw Shawn and raised an eyebrow at him, much to his chagrin.

Immediately, he prepared for his wet willy assault. He extended his pinky finger, put it in his mouth, and concentrated on getting as much of his sticky, slippery saliva. After Lolita has passed, he tried to stealthily sneak up on her, but she turned around. Out of his surprise, he quickly lunged his finger to her ears, and it connected. He was about to laugh out loud, when he felt something unexpected. His pinky finger felt like it was lodged in Lolita’s ear. He tried to yank it out, but with equal intensity, he felt like it was being sucked further into the girl’s head. Slowly, his finger went in followed by his palms. Then, his forearms started to slide in. At that point, he made such a ruckus that all of the bystanders saw what was happening.

The eyes of the crowd seemed to have rehearsed how and when their eyes went wide. They can hardly gasp when they saw that Shawn’s upper arm was already nowhere in sight. They couldn’t believe what happened next: Shawn’s shoulders went in with a loud “splunk” and slowly, the rest of his body followed. They just watched in horror when all they can see were the tips of his Reeboks that were eventually swallowed by the shadow in Lolita’s ears. Then, without ceremony or care, Lolita went into room 3C, her English composition class, just before the bell rang.

After this story and if you are a bully, would you still pull a wet willy? Maybe, this could be a wake up call for the bullies to either stop or find other inventive ways to piss off people that can’t seemingly fight back.


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